The Nuanced Nuage

By Ashlynn Doljac

My mom says ‘loneliness kills’

Lonely

Swallows me into the crowd and I am still lonely

Meaning

I feel too much

It’s either earthquake velocity

Or nothing at all

floating through the to-do list in antibody mode

The curtains in the office window have started moving again

Twisting and curving

But all I see is bodies

An undulating longing for something just out of reach

Lonely, because we come here alone and leave the same way

The one-way solo express

Lonely

Because depression can dance

And sing and smile too

At the end of every night

All you have is you

And it might sound conceited or vain

But my lonely is too often synonymous with pain

To hide and retract

Fumble and fold

Into a crinkled apology note

Because it is far too often

We crease ourselves, to create something worth holding

And isn't that the loneliest thing of all?

The repressed collapse

A page once pristine now pleated into poignant sadness

On the cusp of every edge is a bird waiting to take flight...

My mom says this too shall pass,

And I wait, as the paper plane of greyscale dreams flies

Up, up, and away...

Ashlynn is a multi-disciplinary artist, who ventures into the boundless realms of colour and imagination. As a poet, sculptor, and dreamer, she delves into the lost landscapes of intergenerational wounds, memory, and navigating the human experience; translating them into  expressions of healing, in mind, body & soul.

Website: Ashlynndoljac.format.com 

Instagram: @artistic_allegories