How Does a Flower Know When it’s Blooming?

By Esther Fisher

I am afraid.

As seasons change my mind spins

Questions overwhelm me.

The one I fear,

That takes hold like a disease

When will I bloom?

Late 20s and I don’t know what I am yet

I fear not knowing my roots and petals

Will see my season pass.

I still don’t know what species I am.

All plants start with the same two leaves

And then grow into their own from there.

I fear that I am like snowdrops.

Rarely are they seen in bloom,

Covered by a layer of pure white snow.

If I bloomed in high school,

Does it mean my flowering days are done?

Have I been missed in my own potential?

I fear that I am like tulips,

Brightly coloured for only a few weeks.

For them, their petals fall so quickly

Am I the tulip now?

Are my colours bright and awakening?

Am I blooming without even realizing it?

I fear that I am like lavender,

That I will bloom in late summer.

Purple fields and sweet perfume,

Am I a late bloomer?

Am I to peak at 40? 50? 60?

Have I yet to go into myself?

Or am I like a chrysanthemum?

Blooming as the leaves turn and fall.

If I am a late bloomer

Will I get to the end of my season

With anyone to appreciate my petals?

Too early

Too late

Before killer frost

Destroyed by a rainstorm

I am afraid

That I will never bloom.