While stray dogs bark and howl in the night. While the smell of burning diesel fills the air in our dark room. The little torch gives a fading light for few hours, and the dusty stone floor is always cold under my slippers.

Summer here was exhausting. From my point of view temperatures went well beyond reasonable. Anything hotter than 30 degrees is just too much for me. Here I had to get used to temperatures over 40. I really waited for the winter. I really thought a lot of drought and climate change whenever I was able to think and was not too tired of the heat.

Where I come from winter temperatures sometimes go as low as -20 degrees Celsius, and there is also snow and ice. Besides freezing temperatures it is also dark outside, but the latter mostly doesn’t bother me as houses and streets have lights. Temperatures are also manageable as homes are well insulated and there is nearly always a steady flow of electricity. So practically, if you are not homeless, you most likely wont freeze or live in darkness.

But now I am in the Middle East - in North East Syria to be more exact, in an area we call Rojava. Ideas of anarchism and revolution brought me here. I really did not think a bit of the winter nights when coming. Nor the cold. This winter the night temperatures have not been colder than -5 degrees Celsius, and that was the coldest so far. Mostly, it’s been 6 degrees colder. Lack of insulation is sometimes a problem with these stone buildings, but still, winter feels heavenly after that burning summer.

Right away I started to like the winter here . Even though I live in a very ascetic house that is located in a very poor neighbourhood. Dog packs often keep me up at night. Sometimes rooster shouts and somebody shoots – but the cold won’t keep me up.

In winter here, there are no scorpions, nor spiders. In winter I don’t need to drink water all the time to hydrate. I do feel safer - even though the war situation here is still the same as in the summer. And as I come from a place where you literally could freeze to death without heaters, here, I really don’t feel that way. I feel that I have many ways to handle cold. It sure is a luxury to feel safe in an area like this, something I enjoy. No matter if it is only an illusion, I cherish this illusion.

With the diesel heater, called Sube, I heat one room and at the same time some water. Then I put the hot water in some empty cola bottles I've saved and place them under my blanket. They stay warm almost the whole night. Usually, electricity comes back in the morning for a while anyway. This is my low budget solution to have hot water bottles. It has become a nice routine to heat water and write with my laptop by the Sube. The battery usually runs out before words.

But the long-lasting darkness is a bit more challenging. It really takes the energy out of you when reading, or doing almost anything more detailed like sewing, writing on paper or drawing. When burning a candle on the floor I see the flame dancing with the cold airflow that whistles its way through the house. Doing things by candle light has started to hurt my eyes.

These circumstances create an unfamiliar situation for me. I have more time to think than ever before, to think in the dark and the silence. In the past few months I have thought about so many people from my past. I didn’t even know I could remember them all anymore. Skeletons and ghosts from the years back. In my mind I've gone through so many places where I have travelled and lived. Sometimes, this thinking is pleasurable, sometimes the opposite. Not all the people and places were especially nice. This kind of thinking is something I wouldn’t be doing back home. Opportunities to just to sit and think don't seem to appear (maybe only when jailed).

But I've learned something new about cold winter nights - never did I like cold or winter nights as I do now.